I don’t know if it’s just me, but dating in LA has been kind of exhausting lately.
It feels like everything is very surface-level. People are always “talking,” but rarely actually trying to build something real. Conversations start strong and then just fade out, or it turns into this endless cycle of texting without anything meaningful to build on.
A lot of it also feels very image-driven. People are more focused on how things look, lifestyle, status, cars, and social media, instead of just connecting as normal humans. I am getting tired of the same questions.
Nah, I’m not saying everyone is like this, but it’s been hard to find something genuine. Sometimes it feels like people are always looking for the next better option instead of investing in what’s right in front of them, especially if there is an actual connection. Maybe I’m just in the wrong circles, I don’t know.
Do people here have better experiences when it comes to dating in LA?
It really does feel like everyone is just keeping their options open 24/7. Like even if things are going well, there’s always this underlying feeling that the other person is still looking around. I’ve had multiple situations where everything seemed fine and then suddenly they just fade out for no reason. Other times, you suddenly feel disconnected because your goals in life don’t seem to align anymore, even though they painted a different picture in the beginning.
It’s not even about bad experiences anymore, it’s just exhausting. You start going into things already expecting it won’t last. As you said, even answering the same questions over and over drains you sometimes. I guess we just have to find the right one. He or she is out somewhere feeling the same.
Let’s face it. L.A. is one of the worst cities when it comes to finding authentic life partners. Most people don’t come here with the thought of creating a family. Most would probably argue it ain’t the right place for that anyway.
I think part of it is just the nature of a city like LA.
People move here for opportunities, careers, networking.. everything is a bit more fast-paced and transactional, and that spills over into dating as well.
That said, I don’t think it’s necessarily fake, just less grounded. People are figuring things out, and sometimes that means they’re not ready to invest in something real yet or are just lost.
Honestly, I definitely met genuine people here, but it usually took stepping away from bars/clubs and being more intentional about who I spend time with.
I get where you’re coming from, nevertheless.. I don’t think it’s all like that.
LA just has a lot of options, and I think that makes people a bit less intentional at the beginning. But I also saw people find really solid relationships here.
I feel like it depends a lot on where and how you meet people. Dating apps especially can feel exactly like what you described, but in more “real-life” settings, it can be very different.
Takes more effort, but I wouldn’t say it’s impossible to find something lasting here.